miércoles, 19 de julio de 2017

Top Ten Best Lists I've Seen in My Life






ATP® weekly rankings for professional tennis players. List of F1® pole positions. FIFA® international football rankings. Lists for groceries for supermarkets. Internet Movie Database (IMDb®)’s Top 250 movies. WHO Essential Medicines List. Trip Advisor®’s top vacation rentals in the world. Billboard® Hot 100 singles chart. Hundreds of check lists. Innumerable anonymous bucket lists. Music fans playlists. Lists here, lists there. Lists around. Lists! Lists! Infinite lists for anything, everything, everywhere, before, now, forever!

Many lists are used in order to remember things, to forget things, to do something, to do nothing, to buy goods, whatever. Some lists are very important. Some lists are essential. Other ones are useless. Anyway,  due to my current leisure time, now I want to honor the ten best lists I have seen in my entire life in a countdown fashion.

Therefore, to anyone who cares, here below is my list of the best lists I’ve seen in my life.


10. The Bride's Death List Five (2003)



Taking it serious, having a list of people you want to kill is horrible! Terrible! Illegal! Totally wrong! But reviewing it fictionally, as a list written by the revengeful Bride against the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad… Well, that’s different. It’s totally awesome. If you still haven’t seen Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill volumes 1 and 2, I recommend watching both volumes, hopefully one after the other within a weekend. If you have seen them already, I suggest you watch them again!

By the way, take into account the fact that Tarantino intended to only make a single movie about the whole Kill Bill story, but its original cut resulted quite lengthy, more than four hours long, it had to be divided in two volumes for international distribution purposes. However, the mentioned four-hour cut, re-titled Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair, was screened at select cinemas in 2011 (for more details about this just check https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_Bill ).

Also, I have a question for you all: Who’s the fifth and final viper to be assassinated according to this # 10 list within MY list? Here’s a hint: The name starts with a B.


9. Rob Gordon's Top Five Dream Jobs (2000)

Like I said, I have seen, read, listened to thousands of lists and rankings about various different topics since the late twentieth century. But right after I watched the modern classic film High Fidelity I noticed the existence of a great handful of marvelous rocking lists, so cool that this mentioned film and its rankings and lists probably inspired the creation of Top Five Records, a music record store located in Lake Worth, Florida, United States.

Of all of the superb Top Five lists mentioned in the mentioned great film, directed by Stephen Frears and having John Cusack leading the cast under the character name Rob Gordon, I’m sharing with y’all my favorite Top 5 list of those, with a few additional comments made by myself in cursive letters:

Rob Gordon’s Top Five Dream Jobs:

# 1: Journalist for Rolling Stone® magazine, 1976 to 1979. Get to meet The Clash, Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders!), Sex Pistols, David Byrne (Talking Heads!). Get tons of free records. (My comment: Yeeeeaaahhhh!!! This wonderful dream job reminds me of ‘Almost Famous’, a classic film released in 2000 just like ‘High Fidelity’. The former classic, not only directed but also written by Cameron Crowe, is based on his real life experiences as a journalist for Rolling Stone® magazine in the mid-seventies, working alongside legendary rock bands such as Eagles, King Crimson [!!!], Led Zeppelin and more. Wow… What a coincidence! Had Rob Gordon known about this coincidence, how envied would he have been back then!)

# 2: Producer, Atlantic Records. Get to meet Aretha (Franklin [obviously!]), Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke. More free records and a shitload of money. (My comment: Maybe this job can certainly give you tons of cash, but how can one buy happiness? [Check out Rule # 48 of # 7 list inside of my OWN current list of lists which will be briefly described below])

# 3: Any kind of musician. Besides classical or rap. Settle for being one of the Memphis Horns or something. I'm not asking to be (Mick [obviously!]) Jagger or (Jimi [obviously!]) Hendrix or Otis Redding. (My comment: Would he have accepted to work as a clarinet jazz performer such as, say, Woody Allen?)

# 4: Film director. Any kind except German or silent. (My comment: I’m sorry, what?!?!? What about working like Werner Herzog? What about, say, Sir Charles Chaplin?!?!?)

# 5: Architect. (My comment: Uh-uh. Not a dream job for me, no siree! Unless I can become Alvar Aalto or Art Vandelay [*rim shot*]!)

So yeah, in conclusion, this # 9 list is not perfect, but still it is marvelous! Yeeeaahhh!!!
 


8. One of Alice Cooper's concert set-lists (2011)

I’ve been a serious music fan since I was a kid, particularly a rock fan. Fortunately, since 2000 I have assisted many great rock concerts in different parts of the world, something for which I feel very lucky and fortunate, and the best concert I think that I’ve attended to, up to this date, is one performed by Alice Cooper.

In the late 90’s I got to really dig deep into Alice Cooper’s catalogue, much deeper than usual hits such as “Poison” and “I’m Eighteen” which are just about the tip of the iceberg (thanks a lot to Dad for this!). Since then, Alice Cooper became my favorite rock artist, and finally on May 28th, 2011, I got the chance to see such legend live for the first time ever, exactly at Estadio Cubierto Malvinas, Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Its set-list included a handful of the usual famous hits along with many marvelous surprises, such as “Halo of Flies”, which was a totally unexpected and wonderful surprise, not only because it’s not a famous song but also because it is one of my all-time favorite songs (if you ever want to check out my All-Time Top 100 Favorite Songs [which I like a lot but still did not qualify to my own Top 10 Best Lists I’ve Seen in My Life {*LoL*}] just ask me!)!!!

Because of the mentioned facts above herewith, such set-list is my all-time favorite in relation to live concerts I've attended to. The complete mentioned set-list can be checked in detail via the following link:



7. John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey's Wedding Crashers rules (2005)


John Beckwith (top left) and Jeremy Grey are divorce mediators in Washington D.C. who "crash" wedding parties to meet and bed women. That’s the main phrase to initiate describing the plot of the super funny film Wedding Crashers, co-starring Owen Wilson (yes, top left), Vince Vaughn, Chrisopher Walken, Rachel McAdams, Isla Fisher and Bradley Cooper, and directed by David Dobkin.

Such movie has its flaws. It’s not perfect, not one of the best movies I’ve seen (if you want to see my Top 100 All-Time Favorite Films I’ve Ever Seen [which did not qualify to the list you are checking out as we speak!] just let me know!), but still, it’s hilarious! It features great scenes with comedy, hysterical improvised conversations between the two main characters, sensational songs, gorgeous actresses, a surprising apparition by another famously comic actor in the middle of the film and my seventh favorite list of all time: The Rules of Wedding Crashing.

Such set of rules looks like some sort of law (The Wedding Crashers Act?), a constitution or something like that, composed by one hundred and ten (110) rules. In my opinion not all of those rules are to be followed but maybe, taking them as mere friendly suggestions, they can actually be successfully applied in our real lives!

The complete mentioned set of rules can be studied on this link:



6. Any of MTV®'s Top ("N" Number) Video Countdown hosted by Daisy Fuentes (1993 - 1997)

When in family home we started receiving MTV® in late ‘93, I got completely blown away watching so many great rock videos for superb songs that, for one thing, didn’t appear in the usual radio stations in my hometown city, and for the other thing, it was a breakthrough for me to watch tons of great rock music videos during the rest of the decade.

And besides the quality of the music videos I had the luck to be able to appreciate back in that epoch (ahhh, those were the days!), the fact of having great VJ’s (video jockeys, that is) hosting different music video shows was always very nice, VJ's including Kurt Loder, Tabitha Soren (Loder and Soren anchored MTV® News; they were not technically VJ’s but I still remember them!) Kennedy, John Sencio, John Norris, Bill Bellamy… And Daisy Fuentes.

Fuentes principally used to host MTV®’s weekly Top 20 Video Countdowns aired on Fridays, and no matter which video was Number One in those countdowns, just to see her for two hours every week (including repetitions on Sundays) it was completely worth it. Such a sight for sore eyes… Such a nice, attractive, gorgeously beautiful babe!


5. Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar's Top Ten Babes We Would Have Liked To Have Seen In The Game (1993)

Now talking about babes, I cannot make my Top Ten Best Lists I’ve Seen in My Life without including Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar (AKA Wayne’s World)’s Top Ten Babes We Would Have Liked To Have Seen In The Game.

Wayne’s World started as a Saturday Night Live sketch created by Mike Myers (left) and Dana Carvey in 1989 and it became a huge success, in such a way that later in 1992 Wayne’s World was released as a movie and then later a lot of merchandise goods appeared, including but not limited to caps, t-shirts and video games in different consoles.

Around that time I got the Wayne’s World Super Nintendo® video game as a gift (thanks again, Dad!) developed by the American company THQ. That game received many negative reviews and today in the 21st Century has been almost completely forgotten by almost everyone in the world, but I still enjoy playing it on a frequent basis, not only because of the adventure/action scenes, but also because I got access to some of the coolest and funniest Wayne’s World top ten countdowns, and the one selected for my list is the one about babes, as mentioned earlier above.

If you’re a Wayne’s World fan I’m sure you’ve already seen the W.W. list I’m writing about. If you don’t, find the game and play it! Or easily find it completely played from start to finish on YouTube®. Or else execute Plan C: Just click on the following link:



4. "How to write good" list (1986)

This list was created by Frank L. Visco, and it got published in the June 1986 issue of Writers' Digest®. Also, As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, quote, I hate quotations, unquote.

This list is very cunning, hilarious, clever, smart, spontaneous, admirable, unforgettable, a million times better than hundreds of thousands of lists I’ve witnessed up to this date.

This list (which makes me laugh every time I read it) always helps me to be sort of specific about stuff when I deliver professional advice to friends, relatives and clients. Seriously.

This list (as shown here) is just a resume. A higher amount of recommendations in order to write good and better than the rest of the world just check out the following link:



3. The Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness track list (1995)

This is by far my favorite rock album (if you want to take a look at my Top 100 All Time Favorite Rock Albums just let me know!). Like the music video for its famous single “Tonight, Tonight”, listening this double album makes me feel like having a trip to the moon. Also, enjoying it from start to finish is a fantasy becoming real, like a dream coming true, like teardrops falling down for smiles, like many more clichés I can find in my bedroom desk.

Each song is very different from each other, from everything else, as if they were different identified persons. The album has a great selection of different rock styles from super heavy, energetic and contagious guitar riffs (“X.Y.U.”, “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”) to almost quiet but beautiful ballads (“Stumbleine”, “To Forgive”) and many other options in between (“Thru the Eyes of Ruby”, “Porceline of the Vast Oceans”, “Zero”…), and almost all of them were musically composed and lyrically written by the head of Smashing Pumpkins, singer and guitarist Billy Corgan.

The other three members of the original musical quarter created in Chicago, Illinois, United States, guitarist James Iha, bassist D’arcy Wretzky and drummer Jimmy Chamberlain (one of my all-time favorite drummers, and if you... You know what I mean [^^]) also contributed to the mentioned timeless classic with their admirable musical talents.

For all of these reasons and more, the mentioned album has the best track list I enjoy listening to once and again. Those are just my two cents, you know. And for more information about this mentioned album, including my all-time favorite CD track list, check here:



2. Stanley Stupid's stupid things-to-do-today list (1996)

The movie The Stupids, directed by the very talented John Landis (the guy who directed Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” music video, and classic motion pictures such as Animal House, The Blues Brothers, Spies Like Us and more), starring comedian actor Tom Arnold, got completely panned by the critics and it totally bombed at the box office.

I saw it once when it was recent and I haven’t completely repeated it since then, but it has one scene that is subliminal. One scene that makes the creation of this movie totally worth its own existence. The only hilarious scene in the whole movie: The one in which Stanley Stupid (played by Tom Arnold) checks his own stupid “things-to-do-today” list.

The way that this scene was displayed, the way it was included in the mentioned film, will be remembered eternally. Just to think about this super short list gives me a smile. I totally admire this list like a fountain of happiness.

I know, I know… That seems pretty senseless… But whatever!!!


1. Top Ten Best Lists I've Seen in My Life (2017)

I’ve never seen a list like the one I’m typing as we speak. Maybe I had different inspirations from Seinfeld, the way they managed to create the possibility of creating a Seinfeld show within Seinfeld's fourth season, and later a coffee table book about coffee tables… Or the way Christopher Nolan’s Inception had that sequence of a dream within a dream within a dream, possibly inspired  (in my proof less hypothesis) on The Alan Parsons Project’s first track of their 1976 debut album Tales of Mystery and Imagination, “A Dream within a Dream” (greatly including the voice of Orson Welles!)… Or the fact that Inception came many years after Scrooge McDuck had a very similar story published about dreams withing dreams (I do have proof for this: http://www.cracked.com/article_19021_5-amazing-things-invented-by-donald-duck-seriously.html)…

Or other artistic inspirations coming from the album cover of Pink Floyd’s Ummagumma (1969), or the brilliant scene of Lloyd Bridges’ appearance on Zucker/Abrahams/Zucker’s Airplane! (1980) in front of a photograph showing himself in front of his own photograph and so on…

Or just the fact that a very good friend always teases me because of my huge number of lists for the stuff that I like with comments like “Another list?!? You’ve made so many lists!!! Lol!”.

Anyway, it’s true. I have a lot of lists. I've made many lists. I enjoy lists! Maybe it’s a guilty pleasure. If yes, well, yes: As said by Alice Cooper: I’m guilty, I don’t care. So there you go. Laugh at me, ignore me, sue me, or just like The Alan Parsons Project said: Turn me to stone. Do anything you want with me!

2017


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